Come Back Laura Ingraham!

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Ed Morrissey at Hot Air has the latest on Laura Ingraham's disappearance from her own radio show these past few weeks.

Laura Ingraham has apparently run into a contract dispute with her syndicator and has been off the air for most of the last two weeks. It seems like a bad time for the Right to lose one of its strong and entertaining national voices. The Republicans and conservatives look like they’re in for a bad time already in Congressional races, and the effort to inform people about the presidential race and its issues needs to be in full gear now.

Come back, Laura. We need you.

Michelle Malkin agrees

McCain Launches Independent Run - Republicans Sit This One Out

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A Parody, But Just Barely

Senator John McCain has launched his Independent candidacy for President with just the kind of performance the media has been looking for in the former Republican: high-mindedly piling praise on also-ran Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton and presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama. McCain was effusive in his praise of Senators Clinton and Obama saying,

I commend both Senators Obama and Clinton for the long, hard race they have run. Senator Obama has impressed many Americans with his eloquence and his spirited campaign. Senator Clinton has earned great respect for her tenacity and courage.

The media often overlooked how compassionately she spoke to the concerns and dreams of millions of Americans, and she deserves a lot more appreciation than she sometimes received. As the father of three daughters, I owe her a debt for inspiring millions of women to believe there is no opportunity in this great country beyond their reach. I am proud to call her my friend. Pundits and party elders have declared that Senator Obama will be my opponent. He will be a formidable one. But I’m ready for the challenge, and determined to run this race in a way that does credit to our campaign and to the proud, decent and patriotic people I ask to lead.

The mainstream media was delighted with his lackluster delivery and the speech's tepid audience reception. On CBS, Jeff Greenfield said,

There's no energy here. There's no crowd behind him the way there was with Senator Clinton and Senator Obama. You see the slogan, 'A Leader You Can Believe In' that's designed to say 'I'm the Commander in Chief and Obama's credentials are weak.' But you can barely read the slogan because he's blocking it. Also, if you were the oldest candidate ever to run for president and you want to communicate a sense of dynamism, you want to surround yourself with energy, and that is not what happened in McCain's event last night.

It has also been reported that the five voters who really prefer a high-minded campaign as opposed to a lively one are impressed as well. Most exciting of all to the msm and to Democrats everywhere was the ease and actual pleasure with which McCain pounded his former party.

I have worked with the President to keep our nation safe. But he and I have not seen eye to eye on many issues. We’ve disagreed over the conduct of the war in Iraq and the treatment of detainees; over out of control government spending and budget gimmicks; over energy policy and climate change; over defense spending that favored defense contractors over the public good.

I disagreed strongly with the Bush administration’s mismanagement of the war in Iraq. I called for the change in strategy that is now, at last, succeeding where the previous strategy had failed miserably. I was criticized for doing so by Republicans. I was criticized by Democrats. I was criticized by the press. But I don’t answer to them. I answer to you. And I would be ashamed to admit I knew what had to be done in Iraq to spare us from a defeat that would endanger us for years, but I kept quiet because it was too politically hard for me to do. No ambition is more important to me than the security of the country I have defended all my adult life....

When members of my party refused to compromise not on principle but for partisanship, I have sought to do so. When I fought corruption it didn’t matter to me if the culprits were Democrats or Republicans. I exposed it and let the chips fall where they may. When I worked on campaign finance and ethics reform, I did so with Democrats and Republicans, even though we were criticized by other members of our parties, who preferred to keep things as they were. I have never refused to work with Democrats simply for the sake of partisanship. I’ve always known we belong to different parties, not different countries. We are Americans before we are anything else.

Adding to the excitement was the reaction from the Right-Wing attack machine. Radio talker and hate monger Laura Ingraham had this to say,

As for McCain, God bless him, he simply does not inspire at the lectern. He looks bored and we feel bored. And while there were a few fun lines in his address, he still has the stiff "screen-lock" look reading the teleprompter. It's too bad that Obama capitalized on the "Change" brand because McCain is the one who needs it most: he needs a change in approach, a change in emphasis, a change in substance. McCain emphasized ending "partisan rancor" and boasted "I have never refused to work with Democrats...if I'm elected president the era of the permanent campaign will end." President Bush thought he could do the same by having Ted Kennedy write his education bill and by massively expanding Medicare. Look where that got him. Here's a clue: If you truly believe the left's agenda for America is destructive, working with Democrats ain't that honorable.

In response to Senator McCain's respectful treatment, presumptive nominee Obama responded,

My differences with him — my differences with him are not personal. They are with the policies he has proposed in this campaign, because while John McCain can legitimately tout moments of independence from his party in the past, such independence has not been the hallmark of his presidential campaign.

It’s not change when John McCain decided to stand with George Bush 95 percent of the time, as he did in the Senate last year.

It’s not change when he offers four more years of Bush economic policies that have failed to create well-paying jobs, or insure our workers, or help Americans afford the skyrocketing cost of college, policies that have lowered the real incomes of the average American family, widened the gap between Wall Street and Main Street, and left our children with a mountain of debt.

It’s not change when he promises to continue a policy in Iraq that asks everything of our brave men and women in uniform and nothing of Iraqi politicians, a policy where all we look for are reasons to stay in Iraq, while we spend billions of dollars a month on a war that isn’t making the American people any safer.

So I’ll say this: There are many words to describe John McCain’s attempt to pass off his embrace of George Bush’s policies as bipartisan and new, but “change” is not one of them.

(APPLAUSE)

“Change” is not one of them, because change is a foreign policy that doesn’t begin and end with a war that should’ve never been authorized and never been waged.

As is widely known, the Republican Party, unable to find a satisfactory conservative to carry the Reagan mantle, decided for the first time since running John C. Fremont for President in 1856 not to run a candidate for the highest office in the land.

It is unknown whether they ever will again.

Obama Agonistes: Everyone Barack Knows Hates America! How Was HE To Know?

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A Parody - I think

The Barack Obama campaign continues to reel after the revelation of a just completed and comprehensive study conclusively proving that everybody Senator Obama has ever known hates America. The study, conducted by a research organization said to have ties with Senator Hillary Clinton (who denies any connection, saying she was "saddened but not surprised that Senator Obama would try to divert attention from this very damaging study and place the blame on a woman.") traces Obama's personal relationships back to his earliest days up to the present time.

Attempting to address the study the Obama campaign released a 10,000 page statement responding to each accusation contained within it. In the statement's 100 page summary Obama says,

This study is a shallow attempt to break the back of hope, the hope that I have spent my entire life trying to bring. I will not allow those who try to divide Americans to do so again. No longer will those who love America be divided from those who don't. No longer will the forces of division separate us based how much we love...or hate America. I see a new day when those who think America is a shining city on a hill seek kinship with those who see America as the greatest force for evil in the history of the world.

I think MSNBC journalist Keith Olbermann said it best when he said that this study is "The worst study in the WORLD" not just for one day but for an entire week and I agree."

The Obama campaign's point-by-point refutation of the charges leveled against the Senator includes responses to many relationships unknown to the public until this time. In a section dealing with Obama's time as an activist in Chicago the study notes his relationship with Mustaffah Kill-America, the owner of his local deli in which the study claims ,

The deli's sandwiches were given names such as the "George Washington was a slave owning pig" ham sandwich, and the "Sacrificial Lamb on Rye".

In response, the Obama statement says,

Each time I frequented that particular establishment I noted the pain in Mr. Kill-America's eyes and I saw his naming his sandwiches as he did as his way of coming to terms with this country and therefore his way of healing. I continue to see him as my mentor when it comes to the salted luncheon meats.

I could no more disavow my favorite deli-man than I could disavow my favorite mechanic who was convicted of trying to turn an '87 Chevy into a car bomb, based solely circumstantial evidence.

In responding to the study's revelation that the Reverend O. P. Pressed, the pastor of his new church, the O. P. Pressed Church Oh' Christ, had written his senior thesis on the topic of "America Is Responsible For Every Lousy Thing That Ever Happened To You. Blow The Sucker UP!", Obama explained,

The Reverend O. P. Pressed was, at that time working out his inner conflicts about a country which he dearly loves but about which he had become disillusioned and so was working his way through this personal turmoil in his thesis. And I will remind you that the charges against him for allegedly assisting the Unabomber were dropped for insufficient evidence.

The study also revealed Obama's relationship with faux native American, disgraced Left-wing former faux academic Ward Churchill who Obama has described as his "Eagle Spirit" mentor. Obama said that he met the America-loathing Churchill when Churchill was trying to decide what minority he wanted to make believe he was. Obama's statement says,

I was impressed by his dedication to escaping from his oppressor identity and stepping into a new role. I could see the sincerity he brought to pretending that he was a Native American and could feel the burden that he assumed when he realized all the suffering he would have to make believe he had gotten from his make believe ancestors. It was profound and life-changing for me.

I couldn't deny him the hatred he now felt for America, realising the very personal connection he now had with his faux forebears. I can no more reject Churchill than I could all the other people making believe they are something other than what they are. And now that he is pretending to be a hermaphrodite, pretend-experiencing all the suffering that particular demographic has experienced, there is no way that I would or could ever disavow him.

Besides highlighting the fact that everyone Obama has ever known hates America the study also delves some other aspects of his life that some find troubling. It reveals Obama has never read a book that doesn't have a subject matter doesn't, in some way hold America responsible for some social ill. The study has uncovered a comment Obama made as a college student in which he said,

"That Communist Manifesto is the best book I've ever read. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to bring it to life!"

Responding to this in his statement Obama explains,

"Sure, I was a young man with the whole world opening up in front of me and I've always spoken in terms of "aspirational totems" and the goals of the Manifesto remain distinctive in the annals of humanity. While I don't subscribe to all of its particulars I could no more disavow it than I could disavow Howard Zinn's The People's History of the United States or the movie, Loose Changes by those cool high school kids. They are all life-changing experiences and to deny them would be to deny a part of America that speaks to our greatest hopes for change and brighter tomorrows and cotton candy and bluebirds and cute little kittens.

These things are my cultural mentors and I could no more disavow them than I could my autographed Che' hand grenade.

Although his statement has been met with extreme skepticism by those frequently described as being Right-wing wackos such as talk show hosts Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham, more reasoned voices in the media have been more willing to take Obama at his word.

CBS anchorwoman Katie Couric said on air that,

"Obama's eloquent response to this attack on him has been known to drop people to their knees in tears, rending their garments and muttering to themselves that 'finally a new day in American politics is dawning.' As a personal aside I have to say that I too choked back tears as I read what many are calling the greatest piece of writing in the history of mankind, including Shakespeare and Toni Morrison."

According to the latest Rasmussen poll, Senator Obama has widened his lead over Senator John McCain to 25 points.

Hot Air talks about Obama leaving his church.
So does Below The Beltway
Ed Morrissey at Hot Air gets it
Liberty Pundit also talks about BO leaving the church
Betsy's Page discusses Fr. Pfleger

And The Winner Is...

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008:

Well it's been a long, hard-fought campaign but finally we're here at the finish line; Election Day, and boy are we here at McCain Central pumped! Oh sure, we've had our ups and downs along the way and yeah the polls don't look good, but hey, who believes polls anyway? We've fought like crazy for what we believe in and I know it is going to pay off BIG TIME.

The first couple of months after Senator McCain became the presumptive front runner were a little rough, of course. Those talk radio creeps just wouldn't cut the Senator a break even after he reached out to them. I'll never forget how proud I was when Senator McCain said, "Yeah, I heard that Limbaugh on the radio today. My friends, he sure can talk, eh? Hehe". It was like he was giving El Rushbo a great big hug. That's why I was so shocked when Rush kept on attacking my guy over illegal immigration and CAFE standards and global warming and Gitmo and ANWR and the Gang of 14 and all that other stuff. It was like he really didn't believe that Senator McCain is as conservative as Ronald Reagan. Why, the Senator was a foot soldier for Ronald Reagan, for goodness sake. I mean I heard him say so himself!

That's why I was so proud of him when he went to all the Republicans in the House and Senate, even the fifteen of them who weren't retiring this year and convinced them to speed the Fairness Doctrine through before the election. I was in the room with him when he told them all, "These guys are beating my head in and unless you a..holes (I love it when he's so direct, like that. Now that's leadership!) pass the G..damn Fairness Doctrine this party, this country and my G..damn campaign are going to go right down the crapper." That and the sort of crazed, I'll-break-you-in-half look on his face got them jumping his way, that's for sure.I understand that Rush, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity and a bunch of others are getting together to form some sort of blog network but the Senator has beaten them to the punch and the Even More Fairness Doctrine is already making its way through the legislature. Blog this, you guys.

It was just about at that time that the Senator realized that his polls were never going to improve among conservatives, and he did what he always does, he reached out and made his big play for independents. I was there in the room with him again when he came up with the campaign slogan that's become a rallying cry, "About As Conservative As You'd Want". That let everybody know that he was their kind of conservative, you know, one who was kind of independent in his conservatism, sort of. I get chills hearing it even today.

One of my favorite moments was the day he made his vp choice just before the convention. Nobody in the party saw it coming when after his big build-up the Senator finally said, "Hehe, and he's got about a billions bucks, too, the rich bastard hehe. I'm proud to present my choice for running mate...Michael Bloomberg!" Oh yeah, the big shots in the party squirmed and screamed and everything just because Mayor Bloomberg wasn't a Republican anymore but Senator McCain had read all those newsmagazines about how Bloomberg was one of those new kind of politicians. All the network anchors and everybody said he was just great and besides since money wasn't exactly flooding in, if you know what I mean, Bloomie's deep pockets have really come in handy...like paying for the campaign-handy! Ha! That's what happens when you reach out. You get things done!

Of course Barak Obama's choosing former Marine, Senator James Webb wasn't a bad choice either, I suppose. It sort of killed our plan to make Obama out to be kind of a skinny pantywaist a central part of the campaign. But when the news got out (thanks ex-Senator Clinton!) that Senator Obama had been a drug "kingpin" for a year in his younger days we really made hay out of it. Of course the media said he turned it into a positive with his "The Audacity to Turn Dope into Hope" speech, but we know America didn't buy it, no matter what the polls said afterwards.

The debates were really something, too. That Obama guy thinks he's so smart. I don't care what the polls said after each of them and what the papers said either. I know that Senator McCain really brought it to him. I think everyone remembers the healthcare debate where Senator Obama pledged not only to provide universal healthcare but to extend it to everyone's (including illegal aliens', I mean immigrants') pets, too. Senator McCain delivered one of his best comebacks when he famously said, "Yeah, I've got a pet, Barak; a dog. You know what I named him? "Bite Me". Yeah, Bite Me, Obama, Bite Me hehe!" (I always enjoy the way he laughs at his own jokes, even if no one else does.) And remember when Senator Obama said that if Venezuela didn't start selling oil to the US again he'd bomb England? Senator McCain didn't even have to respond to that one. The look on his face said it all.

There were some disappointments along the way, of course. The media, for one. All the years John McCain had been in the Senate being a maverick and everything, the press loved him but just as soon as it becomes obvious that he's got the nomination all sewn up they start jumping all over him, as if he were just some regular old Republican. And when the New York Times endorsed Senator Obama, well let me tell you that was the first and only time I've seen a tear in the Senator's eye. Bunch of turncoats...

Well very soon now we'll show them all. I can hardly wait to see tomorrow's headlines. Boy is everybody in for a shock. Let's see, the polling places have just closed. Hmm. Where is everybody? They know the party is going to be held here...Maybe they're all coming together. Yeah, I bet that's it. I can hardly wait...


Tuesday, November 4, 2008 Late Edition Special:

Obama Romps! First Black President Wins In Greatest Landslide In American History!
Takes EVERY State and EVERY Town!
John McCain Says, "G..damn Conservatives!"